Cuba’s Sonic Attacks Could Now Be Pointed at Brooklyn


“Directional Phenomena” are giving residents hangovers

Recent 311 reports have residents of Bed-Stuy claiming a strange “inescapable hum” is causing them to experience headaches and other hangover-like symptoms. They do not know what noise is exactly, or where it’s coming from. So far, local police and the DEP have not been able to identify a source. 

But sonic phenomena have rarely been known to be benevolent.

From 2016 to 2018, sonic attacks on the Cuban embassy were shown to shrink US diplomat’s brains. White matter volume reduced was significant. And although they have denied any such involvement, the advantage for the Cuban government is clear. Dealing with soft minds would be easier. 

One study, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, looked at detailed brain images of 40 US staff members in Cuba. It found that of the 20 who had reported hearing the mysterious noises, their brains were 5% smaller than usual. These staff members also reported suffering headaches and nausea—kind of like a hangover. Could it have been a test run? 

There are plenty of things Cuba would like to suppress in Bed-Stuy. Their government has long-hated the American Dream. Possibly, they want Bed-Stuy’s fertile grounds to never again produce such conformations of that dream as Jay-Z or Chris Rock. They was to get the heads of bright futures shrunk down so much that potentials are reduced to TV-watching and fried meats. Reprograming. 

The Department of Environmental Protection originally suspected the sound was caused by an air conditioning system rooftop compressor, but Drew Robbi of Bed-Stuy posted a video of the noise that showed it to stay constant, whether inside or outside.

“I ran away from it,” Robbi originally reported to “I went inside and it was still piercing.” This information is in line with the Cuban phenomena where the American diplomats complained of hearing the noises even while inside their homes or nearby hotels. 

When contacted, City Councilmember Robert E. Cornegy Jr.’s office said they were unaware of anyone reporting the problem. However, what we can trust them to remember—if such attacks are indeed taking place—is depressing at best. Possibly the phones have been ringing for days, washed out by the “directional phenomena.” Unanswered. It is a perfect crime in a country where most think of the government as a monolithic blob, where such issues are swallowed up and lost forever. Sunk in a giant pink bureaucratic sea. The difference between that, and a response from shrunken brains would be slight or none. If what researchers who studied the Cuban incident say is correct, changes to Brooklyn due to a similar attack could resemble “clinical symptoms which are concussion-like.” Imagine mayors, clerks, community board members all slumped and drooling in a daze.

While the DEP press officer expressed via email he would look into the situation and provide more information, so far nothing surfaces. It’s possible the entire government’s unable to remember just what has happened. Bumping into each other in the hall, forgetting why they are there, or where they are going.