A Modest Proposal To Break Up Flatbush’s ‘Little Caribbean’


Forget ‘Little Caribbean’!

I agree with Assemblymember Rodneyse Bichotte‘s logic that there needs to be a duo designation singling out ‘Little Haiti,’ for their grandest of contributions to Caribbean culture in the greater Flatbush area from Empire Boulevard to Brooklyn College.

In fact why stop there? I think they should re-name the West Indian Labor Day Parade the Trini Labor Day Parade.

After all there would be no parade if it weren’t for the massive contribution of Trinidad and Tobago.  They have brought carnival to a cultural art form and certainly deserve that recognition. Let’s not forget that Trinidad and Tobago also brought the steel pan, and both Soca and Calypso music to Flatbush.

In fact, so great are these island countries that it’s only fair there be two more designations in Flatbush, ‘Little Trini’ and ‘Little Tobago.”

Oh, but wait. How can you forget the massive contributions of Jamaicans to the Flatbush area? They have contributed so much life and color to the area in entrepreneurship, culture and cuisine. Give me my stewed peas and rice, and curry goat with a side of some reggae music and I’m a happy man. The Jamaican culture has also been a leading advocate for Caribbean politics, and brought us the Clarke family.

With that said, how could any Caribbean of good standing not deny that there needs to be a ‘Little Jamaica’ designation somewhere in Flatbush?

Oh dear me. I must have lost my head, because I’m forgetting all about the great Barbadian contribution to Caribbean culture. For bringing the world Rihanna alone this country deserves some recognition. So, it’s only fair they designate at least a small section of Flatbush as “Little Barbados.”

How stupid of me to talk about all these Caribbean contributions, and not mention Grenada. Where was my mind? I must have been smoking too much of that whacky tobacky. What was I thinking?

Grenadians are among the most hard-working and best immigrants of all the Caribbean. They have contributed in the arts and politics. They have given so much for so little. Forgetting Grenadians’ small contributions is a slight to the working man.

Fer these reasons, I am positive that Caribbeans everywhere would agree with me that a small section, if only a block or two, be designated ‘Little Grenada”.

So let’s see. We have ‘Little Haiti,’ ‘Little Trini,’ ‘Little Tobago,’ ‘Little Jamaica,’ ‘Little Barbados,’ and ‘Little Grenada.’ That should about do it.

Wait just a minute here! I am nothing if not politically correct, and I know that Flatbush is made up of hundreds of thousands of immigrants from all over the Caribbean – all of whom have contributed in small and large ways to the area in culture, business, politics, fashion and the arts.

Therefore we certainly can find some small block or patch of grass to designate “Little Saint Vincent,’ ‘Little Saint Lucia,’ and ‘Little Antigua’.

So thank you Assemblymember Bichotte. In fact, I say we rip up the entire ‘Little Caribbean’ designation. Let the area instead reflect the Caribbean itself. Let’s break up Flatbush into nation states of designation.

Now that we have that settled, perhaps it’s time to move onto bigger issues.

We can start with designating 13th Avenue in Borough Park as ‘Little Orthodox Jewland,’ and a section of Coney Island Avenue as ‘Little Pakistani Muslimland.’