Sometimes even in the most caring, tight-knit and loving communities and families, individuals can fall through the cracks and succumb to drug addiction and accidental overdose death.
Such was the case of Malky Klein, 20, who came from an Orthodox Jewish family in Borough Park and who struggled for a number of years with the disease, before passing away five weeks ago after ingesting street heroin possibly laced with the deadly chemical fentanyl in a batch that killed 10 people, including three from the orthodox Jewish community within a single weekend.
Malky’s heartbreaking story has given her parents, Avreimie and Rivka Klein, pause to reflect and come forward with their daughter’s tragic tale in the hopes of bringing further awareness to the growing problem of drug addiction not just in the frum (yiddish for extremely pious) community but the Brooklyn community at large.
“Malky is the fourth child in our family of five. God blessed us with the most amazing kids,” recalled Mr. Klein, as he sat at his kitchen table. “As parents we learn on the job and do the best we can. Little did we know child number four operated a little more manual with no auto pilot built-in. We tried to apply similar things to child number four. She went to the same schools, through the same system, maybe with minor differences.
Mr. Klein recalled that at an early age, Malky was evaluated by the board of education, without a definitive conclusion of a learning disability. Nevertheless, the school she went to was approved to give her some extra one-on-one help, but after third grade, city funding for this extra help dried up. Then from third grade to eighth grade the family saw to it that Malky received extra help as extra tutors were provided.
“Malky was a very charismatic person and that’s how she went through life. She was happy-go-lucky and seemingly had a million friends. We thought she would grow up being a very good loving mom,” said Mr. Klein.
But underneath this seemingly happiness, Malky knew she was having problems, which her parents didn’t notice at the time. However, these problems came to the forefront, when she had a very hard time getting into high school until literally a day or two before school started. Then within three weeks the school called and told the Kleins they can’t keep Malky in the school because she doesn’t follow along and they didn’t have the resources to help her.
“I asked them [school officials] to please hold on to her until she found a proper school, but they expelled her that day. We found her at home crying on the floor with her school belongings scattered around,” recalled Mr. Klein.
Mrs. Klein said her daughter called the school begging the principal to give her another chance, but the principal refused. For the next three months, Malky would leave the house wearing her school uniform, but she was devastated.
It was during these three months when she was out of school that somebody from the community that dealt with at-risk children suggested she be taken for a thorough professional evaluation, which revealed Malky had a serious learning disability. It was during this period that Mr. and Mrs. Klein started to see and understand exactly what their daughter was going through and the problems she had.
The family finally found a school t
hat would take her and that provided multiple tutors, giving her tests that took into consideration her disability, and she worked 20 hours a day trying to catch up.
“We thought this was amazing and that she finally realized she had to take herself seriously, but little did we know she was really burning up. Then after the summer when she returned from camp, she said she was done with school. Everything happened in one day. There was no slippery slope. She just jumped off the cliff with no parachute,” said Mr. Klein, comparing her plight to those stuck in the World Trade Center, who jumped out to their death from upper floors because the heat was so great where they were, they thought that anything would be better.
This event happened when Malky was 15, and from there the family found another high school that would take her, but by this time she was already dabbling with drugs. Through family counseling and group therapy, often with people from different cultures and the secular world, Mr. and Mrs. Klein learned that the drugs were a symptom of their daughter’s underlying problems and a way to deal with the emotional pain.
“I remember once I spoke to my daughter about drugs and asked her what do the drugs do for you. She said, ‘I don’t have any friends and I don’t remember a single day in my life being happy.’ She said the drugs take her away from those feelings.
“She said she didn’t want to do the drugs but it was very hard for her to live and the drugs allowed her to live and that she understood the dangers, and if God forbid anything happened to her what did she have to lose. I said I feel your pain and she said, ‘No you don’t. You don’t know what it’s like feeling stupid every day of your life.'”
The next few years Malky tried to get off the drugs, going clean for several months, only to start taking them again. Finally, Malky chose to go to a rehabilitation center in Los Angeles, where she went on to graduate high school and then went to a sober living facility, and even signed up for college.
However, as with many people using heroin, she slipped into and out of her addiction, going several months without using only to fall back into using again. Finally, after three years out west, Malky said she wanted to come home, so that she can be closer to her friends and family.
That was on a Friday afternoon, and she overdosed a week later on Saturday in her bedroom.
Mr. Klein said he decided to come forward with Malky’s story because his daughter really cared about people, and he decided going public with her story can help save lives.
“If something irks a kid, it can lead to terrible things, but you should be vocal about it. It’s important to intervene and understand children better at an earlier age. A lot of kids can be saved through that awareness process. I want to help people understand that a child’s behavior is a symptom of something. They are not having behavior problems, they are having behavior symptoms,” said Mr. Klein.
Mr. Klein said it’s important to get in front of their children’s problems because “sometimes it’s very difficult to put toothpaste back into the tube.”
“You have to help your child. Never turn on your kids, even if they misbehave. It’s never about you. Give your child the benefit of doubt. They are responding to something a lot deeper then you can see or fathom, and if you do that, you will reach out to people who probably know more than you and have seen this again and again.”
Mr. Klein also cautioned against Frum parents who castigate a child who rebels against their religious upbringing. This too is a symptom and not the problem. The message is to trust your kids when they are behaving in a funny way. Remember, one good word can build a child one bad word can kill a child, he said.
Mr. Klein is currently putting together an organization to help educate parents, who may have a child with such problems. The working name of the organization is YadMalkyLegacy. For more information email info@yadmalky.org.
