Straphangers feeling a bit queasy better start their morning commute with an espresso with an extra shot of DayQuil or they will soon find themselves dipping deeper in their wallet to get to work.
That after Gov. Andrew Cuomo and the state legislature today agreed to a first-in-the-nation plan to charge subway riders with a cold or flu an extra $12 to ride the subways into Manhattan below 61st Street.
The landmark legislation dubbed the Subway Congestion Pricing plan is estimated to raise $1.5 billion a year, that lawmakers crossed their heart and promised to die if they don’t put in a germ-free lockbox to fix the city’s rickety old subway system.
John Raskin, Executive Director of the Riders Alliance, called the cold and flu tax great news for subway and bus riders, who have been advocating for fair and sustainable sources of funding to fix our ailing transit system.
“The billions of dollars raised through subway congestion pricing and other new revenue sources will help modernize the MTA with new train signals, new subway cars, and faster and more reliable bus service,” said Raskin.
Cuomo said the State Department of Health will be charged with monitoring the health of all city transit riders by placing state-of-the-art Phlegmenizers at all subway entrances. Upon entering the transit system, riders must breathe into the machine, and those registering above a certain amount of cold or flu viruses or bacteria will automatically have to pay the extra $12.
“Once again, New York is showing the country new innovative ways to allow taxpayers to contribute to this great state,” said Cuomo.
The plan has had some pushback from health officials, immigration advocates and the AARP (American Association of Retired Persons), who argue some people have pre-existing conditions.
But Cuomo noted there will be several carve-outs to the measure.
People that have asthma, DREAMers and everybody over 65 will be exempt from the fee, but old people that have canes will have to pay a cane tax because everyone knows how they hold up subway service, Cuomo said.
Cuomo said additionally residents with two years or less to live will be given discounted fees. Let it never be said that New York doesn’t have compassion for its dying, the governor said.
The Loogie Tax, as some are calling it, has already drawn praise from Mayor Bill de Blasio, who is also vowing to crack down on anybody wheezing, coughing or sniffing in the subway by strategically placing phlegm cameras all around the subway to give out stiff fine for anybody spreading germs.
“This is no sneezing matter,” said de Blasio. “Having a cold and riding the subway is fundamentally wrong. Let this send a clear message to anybody that coughs and brings up a loogie or a hocker or a goober or whatever you want to call it. You better swallow it back rather than spit it out on the tracks. If you have a runny nose you better slurp that mucus back up your nostrils and into your sinuses instead of blowing it out into a Starbucks napkin or you’ll be facing a $40 fine.”
Cuomo and De Blasio said they expect the technology to be in rolled out by next September just in time for the cold and flu season.
Happy April Fools Day!
