“If there’s one thing I hate worse than a Nazi white supremacist sympathizer it’s a Nazi white supremacist sympathizer who was born sucking his racist daddy’s rich tit and who surrounds himself with white gold-digging girls more in love with the wad in his wallet than his scabby-assed old pecker,” said my good friend and political pundit Stumpy Wagers.
“I take it you’re talking about the Republican Presidential frontrunner Donald Trump,” I replied.
“I swear, where’s ISIS when you need them? If ever there was a candidate for a public beheading, Donald Trump would be at the front of the line.”
“Sounds like you been drinking the brown-colored stuff tonight. Whiskey has a way of loosening the tongue.”
Stumpy lifted his bottle of Coors Light. “Been sticking to this all night, but as a member of the media who’s been guilty of letting Trump slide too long, I’ve got to make up for lost time. The media let Hitler slide at first as well and you know how that fiasco turned out.”
It was 2:30 a.m. and we were drinking at Denny’s Pub on Church and McDonald avenues with about 20 other late night/early morning urchins. This included a few Mexicans pool sharks whose hands felt calloused from hard work when I shook them following a loss of eight ball, two neighborhood Bangledeshi cab drivers, and the rest a mixture of the old Irish and Puerto Rican regulars. A typical Denny’s crowd to be sure.
“So what do you think brought on this rise of popular appeal for Trump?”
“Good old American racism. Trump is appealing to racist white folks who are seeing themselves on the downside of over 200 years of power, and who hate Barack Obama for no other reason than he’s black.”
“Come on Stumps. A lot of people have problems with Obama’s policies, nothing personal.”
“If you believe that, I’ve got some oceanside property in Oklahoma to sell you,” said Stumpy. “Whether you like Obama’s policies or not, he had to deal with more obstructionism since this country’s heady days immediately before and following the Civil War.”
“So you’re a Hillary backer?
“Not necessarily, but if Trump gets the nomination, I’ll vote for her just to stop Trump from making good on his promises to deport millions of immigrants, scapegoat Muslims and clamp down on the media.”
“Do you think Trump will get the nomination?”
“Not sure, but my hope is the GOP goes to the convention deadlocked and they pick a relatively unknown dark horse candidate the same way Lincoln was picked.”
“Have anyone in mind?”
“Yeah. South Carolina Governor Nikky Haley. She’s a moderate, fiscally sound and a woman.”
“What’s being a woman have to do with being qualified to be president?”
Stumpy drained his beer and motioned to the barkeep for another. “Hillary’s gender card is her ace in the hole. If Haley became the candidate, it would be a woman versus woman fight for the White House, and let the best gal win.”
